It's Magic, Darling!

enivrez-vous de vin, de poésie, ou de vertu, à votre guise.
mais enivrez-vous.

What I Have Learned Working At A Pizza Shop:

How to remove any pizza - 15 inch, 17 inch, Sicilian - from the oven, & cut it appropriately.

How to sprinkle oregano like it’s fairy dust.

How to ring up a credit card over the telephone (& call the customer back to tell them their card has expired).

How to determine which things come with anchovies & which things don’t.

How to determine what gets red sauce & what gets marinara sauce (there is a difference).

How to use a touch-screen that is calibrated incorrectly.

How to put a customer on the telephone on hold without hanging up on them.

How to deliver a pizza while following a hand-drawn map on a paper plate without getting killed/raped/robbed.

How to call out delivery orders in a crowded, noisy bar on a Friday night.

How to avoid getting groped by overly-eager customers at said bar on a Friday night.

How to split tips evenly & without debate.

How to fill napkin dispensers without losing flyaway napkins, fill ketchup bottles without squirting ketchup on myself, & fill cheese shakers without sprinkling myself with parmesan.

How to wash a shirt every single freaking day & make the most of the laundry load so I don’t feel like I’m wasting an ocean of water.

How to deal with pissed-off customers…okay, maybe I didn’t learn this one thing.

How to store water like a camel so I don’t pass out from dehydration standing next to the double-oven.

How to pretend like I don’t hear the guys in the kitchen wolf-whistling at me & telling me that they love me.

The fact that a calzone feeds one person & is basically a folded white pizza with sauce on the outside, & a stromboli feeds three people & is a normal pizza with sauce on the outside.

I spent the past three months sweating like nobody’s business, doing a job that I took only out of desperation. In the end, I surprisingly had a fun time & might even miss it! I’m keeping that damn red shirt, & maybe next summer I’ll pick up where I left off.

  1. itsmagicdarling posted this